Hello, I am Jack, a 30-year-old big family man at heart, living with my lovely partner, six-year-old daughter and our 1-year-old son. At first glance, you might wonder how this story ties into a story about mental health. Let me share my story with you. 

In the past, I have struggled with my own mental health from my avoidance of expressing my thoughts, emotions and feelings. Following an attempt to end my own life, I ended up institutionalised. Today, I am profoundly thankful to be here, having embraced self-acceptance and received care, support, and love from my family. My goal is to share a story that has the potential to change people’s minds and understanding of mental health but also to shine a light on the importance of speaking openly, seeking help and extending support to others, if possible, to live more meaningful lives.  

Mental health should no longer be a matter of controversy anymore, and there is so much we can achieve together to change this narrative. To contribute to this change, I will begin by sharing my personal story.  

The Beginning  

My story begins quite simply – I had a wonderful upbringing, loving parents, and a good bond with my mother and father. Reflecting on my past, I have spent quite a lot of thinking going back, trying to understand how my thoughts, feelings and emotions evolved in ways that led to my mental health deteriorating.  

I realised that one contributing factor and the turning point was when my father, who was in the military, was sent away. Since he returned, things have never been the same. He was medically discharged, and I saw how it changed his life and affected ours.  

I was also an avid football player and did really well in sports. At that time, I was faced with another major blow to my mental health, which was my grandfather’s passing. We were very close and had a very strong bond, and I believe I never actually healed from the wound of his passing. He was such a central figure in our family, and I never processed his departure as I expected, which now I know was another contributing factor to my poor mental health.  

Around 2017, I felt like there was only negativity in my life, and every day was starting to feel like it was too much. I started hanging around with the wrong people, got involved with drugs and gang life and did everything I could to avoid facing my thoughts, my actions and my feelings. I soon found myself involved deeply into the criminal world experiencing things that nobody should ever have to experience. I simply wanted to shut down my feelings and silence my mind. Looking for a way out initially looked like spending more time on the streets, being involved heavily in the upper chain of gang life and doing things I shouldn’t have to but having a mentality that this is what I must do to survive, but even that failed to provide relief. Being trapped within your own mind can be an extremely dangerous thing, and that is exactly what happened to me. 

In 2019, while working for a friend with his business venture, I just remember receiving a text from him that I was no longer needed to help him with work. A straightforward text message led me to find myself in my family home’s back garden as a trigger to the decision to attempt and take my own life away – it was all it took. 

At that moment, you are not thinking about anything – not about your family, your friends, or what others will say. Everything has already been building up inside of you and in that moment, everything switches off. You see the only way out of the overwhelming chaos in your head is to end it all. But I now understand that this belief is far from the truth. 

I attempted to hang myself. Luckily, as I had just passed out a friend who was around the house at the time walked into the room and cut me down. An ambulance was called immediately, and I was rushed to a hospital in Birmingham, where I spent a few hours alone in a private room. I was incredibly fortunate that someone found me just seconds before it turned fatal. 

What Happened Next?

After spending some time at the hospital, I found myself transferred to another institution in a secure unit all by myself, without any communication, explanation, or prior assessment. Institutions like these are far from ideal environments. If you have struggled with mental health and suicidal thoughts, you would hope for some sign of care, someone to ask how you are doing or to explore what led to your actions. This is sadly not the case. Instead, you are placed in a room, handed medications, waiting for the moment to come, and being sent home if professionals decide you are doing well and ready to leave.  

The rooms are empty, with just a bed; everything is blank, and nothing is there. Once the doors locked, the environment felt less like a place of healing and more like a prison. It was disheartening to see that the people who needed compassion and support were instead made to feel isolated and confined.  I found it hard to understand how this can be beneficial for people with other mental health needs in need of complex care and started thinking about how much better the outcomes would be if this were a safer, nurturing environment and person-centred approach.  

Luckily, I was contacted by an incredible team that was responsible for my transition from the hospital to the community. I worked with therapy teams, support workers and play centres that allowed me to go back to my house and focus on rebuilding my mental well-being in a supportive and familiar setting. 

Coming Home

It took me some time to reconnect to my old interests, habits, and routines. The journey was far from easy as things got so much more worse when I came out as I couldn’t come to realisation of what had happened and how I had got into this mess, yet I feel fortunate to share my experience, particularly in a world where discussions about mental health and suicide often remain taboo. 

My focus now is on raising awareness and understanding why cases like mine continue to happen. 

During my time in institutional care, I was not offered therapy, nor was I accurately assessed, and my needs were not taken into consideration. This is a reality for so many people as well, and it is a huge concern about how we are approaching mental health. Institutionalisation and medication should be our last resort. 

I had no prior history or medical records of mental health challenges. While I struggled silently, nothing was on paper to suggest a precedent. Yet, the system’s first response was to place me in the worst-case scenario. So why is the first option?  

I understand there is much pressure in the sector – staffing shortages, budget constraints and more. I had just endured a life-altering event that turned my world upside down. The system’s response did not provide the kind of support I needed. 

The last thing I want is people coming out once a month, once every two weeks, to give me an injection, talk for an hour and then leave. I needed more from the sector as mentioned previously my mental state got a lot worse when I came out so that is when I needed the support the most. 

Can We Do More?

Working in the health and social care sector, I started wondering whether there is something that we can do more to change this negative narrative around mental health, finding support and institutionalisation.  

What more could we do as a sector to prioritise early intervention? The approach must be more person-centred, as every single mental health case is different. Unlike physical conditions, where a diagnosis and medication may offer a clear path to recovery, mental health requires a different kind of approach. 

It is all about offering guidance and helping people train their minds to navigate challenges and obstacles. No medication can do that.  

I think what we could do more in the sector is recruit people who have been through these experiences because they can bring valuable connections that no textbook can offer. There is no better experience than the lived experience. And that is not removing the importance of the work done by support workers and nurses, who have extensive knowledge about the brain and mind.  

This is where my passion lies because there is not enough of it in the sector. And that is where I want to come in, make a difference, and start something off for the years to come. Where people like me can work in the sector and create a difference to making an impact.  

Where I Am Now

I have just finished off the back of a semi-professional football career, and it has become my lifestyle. I love coaching football to others just as much as I love playing. When we all come together, there are no boundaries for us. We can talk about anything no matter if we win or lose. Even if we lose a match, it is still crucial for us to act and grow as a team and learn all the essences of teamwork, leadership, and collaboration. All the skills I have learnt through my years of football are skills that I can take into real-life scenarios and coaching others to make an impact. 

Also, working for Catalyst Care Group as a member of the referrals and admissions team opened a lot of new worldviews and aspects on how, as a community and united, we can make a lasting change for our health and social care across the UK.  

My Advice for Others

Sharing your story may not come easily at first. There will be tears, and there will be challenging times. But to heal, you have first to see the wound. You need to look at the open wound and understand that you accept it. Only then can the healing process truly begin.